


No Laughing Matter

by flootzavut



Series: Swamp(y) Sex [11]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Male Character, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Romance, Sex, Smut, Swamp(y) Kisses, Swamp(y) Sex, queer, these angsty fuckers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 04:32:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14969186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: It starts (as everything seems to, with Hawkeye) as a joke.





	No Laughing Matter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts).



> This was absolutely supposed to be fluff but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ *shakes fist at Hawkeye*

* * *

**_No Laughing Matter_ **

* * *

 

It starts (as everything seems to, with Hawkeye) as a joke.

Halfway through the movie, something unexpected apparently tickles his funnybone. (BJ isn't sure what; Hawkeye's sense of humour meshes well with his most of the time, but occasionally Hawk's hyena laugh will ring out and BJ will be absolutely clueless what prompted it.)

Hawkeye elbows BJ, who naturally elbows him back, then BJ starts laughing too because - well, he doesn't really know why. It gets them a few glares from the people around them, which only makes them both laugh harder.

"Stop it!" BJ manages when Hawk elbows him again.

"Shan't!"

" _Stop_."

"No!"

It's rapidly devolving into childish tit for tat when Potter turns around and gives them the stink eye. "Don't think I won't sentence you to KP because you're officers and surgeons," he says, in the quiet but firm way that says 'Just because I'm a nice guy doesn't mean you can get away with murder.'

BJ bits his lip, because he's right on the edge of laughter, but he likes and respects Potter, and also suspects KP isn't an empty threat.

Potter gives them one more dark look and goes back to the movie.

If either of them had any sense, they'd cut it out now, but having sense is overrated in Korea, so instead they continue to poke and tease, just (more or less) silently. At least the movie is quite funny, and every so often the entire tent bursts into laughter. It gives them the chance to let out the guffaws, though BJ couldn't even guess at what's happening on screen.

He doesn't remember the last time he laughed so much about so little, and the good mood stays with him through their post-movie drinks in the O Club. They're both much more sober than usual, with the prospect of casualties first thing, but an onlooker would be forgiven for not realising that as they giggle their way back to the Swamp. BJ slings an arm around Hawkeye's shoulders, and in return gets Hawk's arm wrapped around his waist, then bends almost double with laughter when Hawk can't resist tickling him.

He pulls away and runs for the Swamp with Hawk at his heels, and Hawk catches him just in time for them to end up toppling into a heap on BJ's cot, where Hawk continues to tickle him despite BJ's wriggling attempts to get his own back.

"Uncle! Uncle, I give!" he says, when he manages to catch his breath for a moment. "You win!"

Hawk doesn't stop, and BJ is just a giggling, gasping ball of reflexes, so he really can't be blamed for the way his hands slide down Hawk's back and somehow fail to land anywhere ticklish but instead keep going until he's cupping Hawk's ass. The laughter abruptly stops.

Hawkeye looks up, and his eyes are black, his pupils are so big, and BJ can't help it, he squeezes. Hawk lets out a sound BJ has only heard on nights when he pretends to sleep as Hawk lets off... tension the old-fashioned way, and collapses down onto BJ's body with a whine, his mouth landing on BJ's neck, and  _God_. It's not as if BJ hasn't thought about this, but he tries not to dwell on the idea; suddenly it's no longer an idea, it's a panting, heaving reality.

He should push Hawk away, he should shove Hawk off of his body, he should do a lot of things. He definitely shouldn't grasp Hawk's ass even harder and pull him close, he shouldn't tilt his pelvis up invitingly, he most certainly shouldn't whine 'Please' like this is what he needs more than anything else in the world right now - even if it's true.

Hawk rocks against him, and it's much harder for BJ to ignore his own erection when it's abundantly clear Hawk's pants are similarly full. That's Hawk's cock, and he's as hard as BJ, and it feels so good to push against him slow and deliberate, one hand keeping him close, the other stroking his back, pushing his shirt out of the way and enjoying the feel of his skin and how he shudders at BJ's touch.

"Beej," Hawk whispers, and he sounds so utterly  _wrecked_.

Without even thinking about it, BJ slides his fingers up to the back of Hawk's head, tangles them in Hawk's hair and tugs gently, coaxing Hawk up until their eyes meet. Hawk looks as wrecked as he sounds, somewhere between ready to fall apart and ready to cry, and it's as much the instinct to comfort as anything else when BJ tugs again, pulling Hawk into a soft kiss that's at odds with how they're grinding together.

God, it's - BJ is only human, he's liked Hawkeye from the start and been attracted to him very nearly as long. He's thousands of miles away from his wife, he's kissed exactly one person since he last saw Peg, and he's not a monk or an angel. Hawk and his mouth have fuelled more than a few fantasies when BJ's self-control has lapsed, but the reality of it is delicious and devastating.

Then suddenly it's as if Hawk snaps, and BJ can only hold on tight and try to keep breathing as the kiss turns from soft and comforting into heated and wild. Hawk kisses BJ like it's the only thing keeping him sane, like if he stops kissing BJ, he'll die. BJ's never been the object of such raw desperation before, and it's both terrifying and unbelievably hot.

There's so much about this that's happening the wrong way and for the wrong reasons, but BJ can't seem to stop. He shouldn't kiss Hawkeye back, he shouldn't feel it down to his feet when he tugs on Hawk's hair and Hawk  _whimpers_. He shouldn't slip his fingers into the back of Hawk's fatigues and grab Hawk's ass hard enough to bruise, shouldn't gasp and swear into Hawk's mouth when Hawk finds his nipple and twists it... shouldn't do any of this, feel any of this, allow any of this, but his skin is on fire and he can't (doesn't want to) stop. All he can do is keep holding on and give in to the instinct to keep kissing, keep touching, keep Hawkeye close and try to sate the unbearable need. Everything blurs, and when Hawk clutches at him, letting out a long wail, BJ follows right after.

BJ has no idea what to do when his mind eventually pieces itself back together and he can think again. It's not as if he didn't know this could happen - didn't want it to happen. But he didn't mean for it to happen like this, meant to talk to Hawk properly, meant to... to  _explain_. Not just grab Hawkeye spontaneously and let the heat and need take over. Not to treat this like something casual.

Hawk's face is pressed into BJ's shoulder. He's shaking in BJ's arms, limp with release. It takes a few minutes and the sudden realisation there's dampness leaking through his shirt to make BJ realise Hawk has gone from the shuddering of orgasm to soft crying. BJ has to take several calming breaths not to do or say something about the flare of anger he feels at himself for getting this all so wrong.

"Hawk?" He kisses Hawk's temple. "Hawkeye?"

Hawk shakes his head.

BJ squeezes him closer and strokes a hand into his hair. "Hawk." His throat is so tight, he can't force anything else out.

Hawk starts to sob, gasping and heaving, like he's given up on being quiet now BJ has realised he's a wreck.

 _Oh, God_. BJ screws his eyes shut, but can't stop a couple of tears of his own from escaping down his cheeks. He never meant to hurt Hawkeye like this. This is what he was desperately trying to avoid, damnit.

"Hawk," he tries again, voice cracking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

Hawk squirms in his arms, and BJ lets go, unwilling to force it, then to his horror, Hawk rolls off of him, levers himself off of the cot and starts to go back to his own bed.

"Hey, Hawk." BJ catches his hand and stops him short, sitting up so he can hold Hawk's hand in both of his and make him stay and listen. "Hawk, it's okay. It's okay." There's a tremor in his voice that he can't control.

Hawk won't look at him. "I never meant-" He shakes his head again, his mouth twisting. "Never wanted to be another Carrie," he says too quietly. "Another someone you regret."

The guilt in his voice hits BJ in the chest like a wrecking ball. This is why it shouldn't have happened this way. This is why he had to be careful. Hawk is in pain and it's BJ's fault, and he has to swallow back the knot of fury. The last thing Hawkeye needs is BJ's anger to spill out all over him.

He wonders how to make Hawk understand that Carrie was a betrayal of his wife - the same wife who slyly referenced his very obvious crush on Hawkeye (well, obvious to everyone except Hawk himself, it seems), and pointed out that Hawk is clearly a different proposition altogether.

"I didn't mean-" Hawk's saying, "I never wanted... BJ, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Hawkeye!" BJ barks, trying to stem the tide of self-recrimination that is quiet but unrelenting. "Will you shut up and listen to me for a second?"

Hawk blinks. He's as unused to BJ snapping at him as BJ is at snapping, and it shows. He falls immediately silent. BJ hates how cowed he looks.

BJ takes a deep breath, tries to speak, fails, then takes a deep breath. He has no idea where to go with this except honesty. "Hawkeye," he says again, then, "I love you." He didn't mean for it to tumble out so bald and straightforward, he meant to build up to it, to explain himself, but his mouth has other ideas. "I - you're not Carrie, okay? You're not. You're completely different."

It doesn't seem to register. Hawk frowns at him like he's speaking Korean. He doesn't resist when BJ tugs on his hand, he lets BJ pull him down, lets himself be gathered into BJ's lap. His compliance, his lack of fight, is more frightening than how he pulled away in the first place. He's a deadweight in BJ's arms.

"Hawkeye, I  _love_  you, damnit. Don't you get that?"

Hawk flinches like he's been hit, and it makes BJ's heart hurt.

"I love you," he tries, more gently. "Hawk, please. I love you."

"I don't need your pity, Beej," Hawk retorts.

It's BJ's turn to flinch. "This isn't pity," he says. "This isn't even in the same ballpark as pity, Hawkeye."

Hawk gives him a bleak, brittle smile without meeting his eyes. "Beej, I've seen you poring over Peggy's letters, okay? I've seen the way you look at her picture. It doesn't matter how I feel, there's no comparison."

'How I feel.' BJ's guilt at the anguish in Hawkeye's voice isn't tempered by the hope, but he also can't help hoping. If it's not just him...

He hooks a hand around the back of Hawk's neck. Hawk still won't look at him, even when BJ tugs so their foreheads touch. "Hawk," he breathes. "It isn't a competition. It's not that at all. I love Peg. And I also love you."

Hawk takes a deep, shuddering breath, and there are tears on his cheeks again. "Beej - don't. Please. I don't want your pity."

"It isn't pity," BJ insists. "It's not even close." He tilts his head up so he can kiss Hawk's hairline and temple and cheekbone. "I love you, you idiot." He presses the words into Hawkeye's skin between kisses, as if he can make Hawkeye believe him by osmosis, by whispering 'I love you' over and over like an incantation. He kisses away the tears, kisses Hawk's nose and eyelids and chin and the corners of his mouth. "Hawkeye, I love you." He brushes his lips over Hawk's, gentle and tempting, coaxes Hawk into a soft, loving kiss.

It takes a moment, but then Hawk starts to kiss him back.

BJ eases them down till they're lying together on the cot, still kissing, and it's gentle and leisurely, but it might even be better than the frantic passion of before. Hawkeye's uncertain, but his mouth is sweet (and a little filthy), and if this is how he needs to be convinced, it's not a hardship.

After they've kissed for a small eternity that's decidedly not long enough, Hawk pulls away to examine BJ's face as he tentatively slips his hand under BJ's shirt again. BJ makes no attempt to stifle his groan of pleasure; he sees Hawkeye's wonder before his eyes slip closed again.

"Beej," Hawk whispers, "God, you're beautiful like this." He feathers his fingers up BJ's spine. BJ shivers at the sensation, then whimpers when Hawk starts to lay warm, wet kisses on his throat.

"Fuck, Hawkeye," BJ forces out.

Hawk stops completely dead for a second, then laughs incredulously. "God, I hope so."

Exactly why that's so amusing is something BJ will figure out when Hawk isn't teasing him, nipping at his skin and tasting the hollow of his throat, biting him tentatively and laughing out loud when BJ swears. "Beautiful."

BJ knows full well that this thing could implode on them, but in this moment it's perfect, and he can't help the way he's already making plans for the next time they have R&R together. This is too good to give up. He'll persuade Hawk of that somehow.

Eventually Hawk snuggles down into BJ's chest with a contented, feline noise. BJ laughs softly and ruffles his hair.

"Beej?" Hawk's voice is low and small in a way that's not him at all.

"Yeah?"

He gulps audibly. "I love you," he whispers, so nervous it's palpable.

BJ chuckles and kisses Hawk's temple. "I love you too, Hawkeye," he whispers back. Maybe it'll take a while to convince Hawk it's true, but BJ is up for the challenge.

_~ fin ~_

**Author's Note:**

> If you're interested in talking to folks in the fandom, please come join us in [The Swamp](https://discord.gg/H5nHFr4), which is a MASH Discord server where quite a few MASH readers, writers and artists hang out :D


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